CIY Move

In my earlier post I spoke about my involvment in youth ministries at Mountain Christian Church. Well last month I attended with our students the MOVE Conference, a part of CIY. That was a really cool conference, I haven't been to CIY in about 6 years or more. From the second we stepped on the campus of Milligan College I felt like God was gonna, well, MOVE that week. For some reason, for the first few days I kind of seperated myself from the other guys. Maybe I was a bit tired from the drive still, or I really like naps. So the start of the week was a bit rough for me. It was a hard transition from the mundane routine of a full time job to this really awesome God thing.

On the fourth day we this extended free time, so after we went out for lunch our entire group took a trip to these waterfalls up in one of the mountains of East Tennessee. I like to call it my Mount of Transfiguration. I'm not a all an athletic guy, and have terrible balance. After traveling along this path we come to this extremely steep grade that led to the waterfall. After I made it down there and took my shoes off to get into the water, my feet began to shake from the coolness of the water, and I became almost terrified. Did I mention I don't know how to swim? I've got to say the only reason I went down there and didn't chicken out was because I was asked to baptize someone.

So after I get down there and splash around in the water a bit, then we do the baptism. I'm about done and just make my way back to put on my shoes because I'm ready. At this point, realizing I'm not that athletic, begin to realize that I need to somehow get myself back up this intensly steep hill. I was asked to lead the group up at first, then needed to tie my shoe again, so with someone else at the lead the youth pastor and myself were bringing up the rear. It was a big strain on me, became out of breath, terrified of losing my balance. There were all kinds of thoughts in my head.

After we began to take it slow, as my calves were burning once we actually made it up there, we had a few chances to take in the experience. We looked around in amazement of God's beauty, asked eachother what was on our minds. My answer was, "I sure hope Jake still has that iced tea in the mini van from the trip down here four days ago, because I'm awfully thirsty!"

I'll never forget Matt's response when I asked what he thinking about. He said, "I'm wondering what Carrie and the kids are doing right now. How wonderful it would be if they were up here with us." Then our conversation went on and one thing that came to my mind while on this mountain was when Moses received the ten commandments from God on Mt. Sinai. That poor guy was in his 80's when he climbed up the mountain to see God. No wonder it took him 40 days and 40 nights. He was probably there for only 20 minutes, the rest of the time was travel up and travel down.

But God really showed up in this week for me. He really opened my eyes to his love for me, and to the love and encouragement I received from the students patiently waiting for us in the parking lot to emerge from the trail. No one said to me in even a joking fashion, "well it took you long enough," or "man, you looked scared down there!" I imagine if they had said that I would have jokingly laughed it off with them. But they'll never know the level of appreciation I have for their love that day.

Of course since I love naps, when we got back I took a shower and took a quick snooze in the room while everyone was out playing frisbee or something athletic like that. Before I fell asleep I kept replaying my emotions from the few hours before and just cried into my pillow. Thanking God for the love that I felt in that moment. For His love for me, for the love from the rest of the group. It doesn't matter that I lack style, make no money, am overweight, can be quite negative. What matters is that despite my faults I am loved.

That's my encouragement to anyone reading this who doesn't feel loved. Just believe that you are. You can have a lot wrong with you, but then again doesn't everyone? We're nothing without God. The psalmist asks, "what is man that you are mindful of him?" What we are is really nothing. God doesn't need us. But He does love us, and he so longingly desires us.